How Lucky Am I To Have Something that Makes Saying Goodbye So Hard? - 05/20/19

I'm not drowning in my own tears so I guess I haven't really processed the fact that today was the last time I would be at AEMS until I'm next in little Andover, New Hampshire. As I signed out on the visitor sheet and walked away from the school, I left with a sense of fulfilment as I remembered the first time I ever went to AEMS with the buddy reading program. I remembered walking into Ms. Hildebrand's second grade classroom for the first time with Andrew Harrell, and having all the kiddos run up and hug him as I stood there awkwardly as the stranger in the room. Knowing myself, that is definitely the kind of thing that would make me feel embarrassed and awkward, and if it hadn't been for one little girl who came up and asked me to read with her, I honestly don't know if I would have opted to go back there again. As I went back each week, I started to get more and more hugs, and students started talking to me more and more, and from that very first visit, I just had an inkling that I would be spending a lot of time across the street.

I have experienced a handful of "life's first ever's" at AEMS over the past 2 years. I have held a hedgehog for the first time. I was peed on by a hedgehog for the first time. I witnessed chicks hatching in an incubator. I taught a full lesson to a full class on students for the first time. I taught Mandarin for the first time. I experienced being a "master (flour) baby maker" for the first time. I made and served lunch in a cafeteria to almost 200 students and teachers for the first time. I was a designated measurer for structures made of paper and tape. I played "gaga" for the first time. I made rice krispies and distributed them to sugar-hungry K-3 students for the first time. I got called Ms. Lauren for the first time, that was kind of weird. I didn't freak out and run away when my student started crying, that is definitely a first. That's just to name a few. I have grown immensely and learned so much throughout the time I've spent at AEMS, especially during the 3 weeks of senior project.

Anna and I made rice krispy treats over the weekend. We actually made lucky charm treats because we are high school students on high school student budgets, with no way to get to supermarkets, and we only have access to a little tiny convenience store at the gas station across the road. With no oven or actual baking ingredients, we had to settle for the 3 ingredient, no-bake delicacy. We started in first grade and distributed the treats to the kiddos. We had a few with no lucky charms marshmallows in then, and I'm sure you can imagine that those were not the most popular. Children will just about always, always go for the marshmallow cereal coated and stuck together with more melted marshmallows. I thought it was kind of interesting how students seemed like they either "chose" Anna or myself. When they came up to give us hugs before we left, they either hugged me or her, and very few, if any, hugged both of us. They asked if we would be back next year, and it was kind of heartbreaking to see their disappointment when we told them we unfortunately wouldn't be.

I then went to kindergarten to drop off a bag of treats for the kids. They all gave me a big hug, and even though I didn't get to know them as well as the other kids, I'm still going to miss them a whole bunch. They're such an awesome group of kids and it's crazy to imagine what they'll be when they're older.

After kindergarten, I walked up to second grade to give them treats and to say goodbye to them. As expected, all but 2 of them went for the marshmallow treats. Even though I didn't spend senior project with them, I was in and out of their classroom this whole school year, so it was nice to see them again and I also got lots of hugs and letters from them. They asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up, and I told them I wanted to be an elementary school teacher, which was why I spent so much time hanging out with them. They asked me to be their elementary school teacher, I wonder if they realize they're going to be in high school by the time I actually get to be a teacher (WHAT?!? Those little nuggets?? in HIGH school??)! Oh, also a second grader asked if he could be my boyfriend today. That was awkward.

I think third grade was the hardest goodbye for me. They were the students I started with in second grade last year, and I followed them up to third grade to continue working with them. This class also has a lot of Proctor faculty kids with whom I've grown pretty close too, and I'm going to miss them a lot. The good news is that I will still see them at graduation, so it wasn't really goodbye. I received another stack of thank you and farewell letters from the third graders, which made me super smile-y. As they ate their treats, they went around the room and all thanked me individually. Here are a few of the wonderful, wonderful quotes:
"Thank you for not being one of the mean and strict Proctor kids"
"Thank you for teaching us Mandarin and gymnastics"
"Thank you for being funny to talk to and have around"
"Thank you for taking time out of your day to be here and help us"
"Thank you for the help with my Jack and the Beanstalk story"
They are very sweet and I am lucky to have crossed paths with them. I got swarmed with hugs, individual hugs, group hugs, class hugs, you name it. My heart is so very full. Also there is a lot of Mandarin on these cards. I am a proud teacher!!

They made me promise that I would come back and visit them next year when I'm around, so it's not really a "goodbye." It's more of a "see you later."

Time: 3:58
Hours: 3
Total Hours: 142